Idaho Sheriff Does Not Appear To Like Turkey Thank You Cards And Uses Gun To Express Displeasure

From the no good deed goes unpunished department, comes a story of unpleasantness and extreme overreactions, mixed of course with splashes of racism and toxic masculinity.  A chilling tale of Holiday jeer, our Supercop for some reason decided to chase down a group of children leaving thanks to their church congregation members and, well..

Let me ask you this-when going door to door to not even solicit, but just give messages of cheer do you expect

A.  A thank you.

B.  A hug.

C.  A bottle of water.

D.  To be chased down by your local sheriff being pulled out of your car by your hair and threated with being f—-— shot.  If you answer D. it might be time to ask your parents to call up the realtor and move.  Because this is not normal.

Bingham County Sheriff Craig Rowland has been charged by the Idaho attorney general in connection with the Nov. 9 incident, which began when a Latter-day Saints youth group was delivering messages of thanks shaped like turkeys to those in their congregation, reports.  A group of seven girls between age 12 and 16, along with their adult chaperone, was handing out the “thankful turkeys” in Rowland’s neighborhood in the city of Blackfoot. The activity involved pinning the “turkey” notes to doors, and then ringing the occupant’s doorbell and running away, leaving them to find the message.

Sounds innocuous enough.  Friendly neighborhood children sending out messages of thanks.  How does this go so wrong?

When the girls stopped at Rowland’s house, he allegedly told his wife to fetch him his gun because he was fearing a potential home invasion.  Even after finding the note on his door, Rowland is said to have assumed something nefarious was afoot and pursued a vehicle he saw taking off down the road.  “I reach in and pull the driver out by the hair,” Rowland was quoted as telling investigators, according to court documents cited by East Idaho News. “I say, ‘Who the f— are you?’ And I do have a gun in my hand, but I still have my finger on the slide.”

Oh well, he had his finger on the slide!  That is different.  That reduces the panic of your heart rate from 190 beats per minute to no more, than, uh, 189 or so.  Clearly not a threat.

One of the parents says this has been a very difficult experience for the children to go through.  Well yes.  I would guess so.  This sounds like the worst rite of passage ever.  The youth group themselves tell a slightly different, but no less shocking story largely agreeing with the Sheriff’s own statement.

My question is, why is it a simple ring of a doorbell has these guys calling for weaponry?  How on edge are these people?  You know, my wife sometimes orders things from online without telling me.  this is mostly because what she needs to order for her personal needs are none of my business, but also, because she is not concerned I will hear a bell ring and reach for a firearm.

Imagine if the suspect’s wife ordered a pizza late at night on a whim without telling her husband?

“Ding dong.”

Sheriff:  “Who the f-— is it?”

Delivery person:  “Pizza Hut.”

Sheriff:  “What the f-— do you want?”

Delivery person:  “To give you your pizza.”

Sheriff:  “Drop the pizza and show me your hands.  Slowly.

Delivery person:  “I can’t drop a pizza slowly.  Gravity is not adjustable.”

Facing charges of felony aggravated battery, felony aggravated assault, and misdemeanor exhibition of a gun, Rowland says he did what he did, because, as he says ignorantly and insultingly,

When first questioned about the incident, Rowland reportedly admitted to Blackfoot police that he had “really screwed up,” but blamed his behavior on threats he said he and his wife had received that left him on edge—and Native Americans.  “I have been doing this job for 36 years,” Rowland was quoted as telling investigators. “I have had drunk Indians drive down my cul-de-sac. I’ve had drunk Indians come to my door. I live just off the reservation, we have a lot of reservation people around us that are not good people.”

The potential future Trump 2024 speechwriter blamed Native Americans, who he asks us to believe, apparently over the course of 36 years, had nothing better to do than get wasted and play ding dong ditch with Sheriff Glocky McCocky until it got to the point where he had to charge after a car full of teen-age girls from the local church.

As far as Sheriff Yosemite Sam goes, his first hearing on these charges is December 22.

He better get himself the rootin-tootin-shootinest his mouth off law debater this side of the Pecos, yes sirree.


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